I am a lot disappointed, but I have to rely on my faith now and I will. I am so grateful for what I know and my faith in God. Thanks again for all your prayers - keep 'em comin'!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Just wanted to let everyone know that we discovered today that I can't take the new experimental drug. It would cause problems with my pain medicine and there is no other pain medication that they can give me. We are still optimistic and I am counting on your prayers, my body fighting and blessings from heaven to get us through this. I have confidence in the Lord that if it is his will, my life will be preserved. Please continue to pray that I might have a full recovery. Remember that He knows what is best for me, my husband, my kids, my parents (all of them) and all of my extended family and friends. My life is fully in His hands.
Posted by Kaci at 6:33 PM
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I saw the oncologist yesterday (Monday). After reviewing my bloodwork it has been determined that I am no longer a candidate for chemotherapy. Basically - Chemo suppresses your bone marrow, as does radiation. My bone marrow has been so suppressed that it is not rebuilding itself. If I continue to do chemo it will just make me weaker and sicker and destroy, or at least dramatically impact, my quality of life. So, no more chemo!! YAY for me!! I am so thrilled. I am also a little concerned about what that means for my cancer, but I am grateful that I don't have to go through the side-effects of chemo again.
My doctor said that if we were seeing another doctor they might just say that they would send me to hospice and from what I understand of that, it's their way of saying - "Sorry, nothing more we can do for you." But my doctor has noticed that my body is fighting this cancer and that I am not showing all the symptoms/signs of some one who is as "sick" as I am. This gives him hope and so he is willing to try a very experimental treatment. This is so experimental that they are not even in clinical testing yet and in fact it is just a theory backed by one study of a doctor that shows promise. The treatment is that I take an extremely low dose of a certain drug that is usually used to help drug addicts get over their addictions. The size dose is about 10% of the traditional dose. I am not 100% sure that we are going this route, but it does sound promising and I don't have anything to lose - there are no side effects. I will be researching this over the next few days and probably start with it next week. We shall see.
Other than that, things here are going well. We are doing lots of homework, cleaning house, making dinner, running errands and just the everyday goings on for a Mom. Halloween is almost upon us and I think I am almost done with the costumes!! So excited!!
Hope all is well with you all. We love you and appreciate your prayers and kind thoughts in our behalf. Enjoy the remainder of your week, we will - with all our activities planned how could we not?!?!
Posted by Kaci at 10:38 PM
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Lately I haven't felt the best so I have been a little grumpy. I think it was Friday night that I looked at Gloria and Nephi and just felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. Yesterday was the school carnival. We went and again as I watched all of my kids playing the games or hangin' with their friends and my wonderful husband helping the 2 little ones (who aren't so little these days), I again felt that gratitude. So, rather than post all the goings on around here for the past few weeks, I decided that I wanted to post what I am grateful for. Here goes:
My loving Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ
My wonderful, loving, helpful husband
My beautiful, energetic children
My delightful and very helpful parents
My extended family and their prayers on my behalf
My friends and their concern for me
A warm home that fits us all
A soft bed to lay on when I feel crummy or am just ready for a good night sleep
A car that fits us all and gets us where we need to go
The bus for bringing David home from school some days
The scriptures for teaching me of the Lord
The beautiful trees and flowers
Having plenty of food and even more treats
Store bought sugar cookies with frosting - you know the ones
A good school for my kids to go to
The opportunity for me to go back to school
My health - I know I have cancer - but it could be worse
VIP week in Kindergarten
Star week in 3rd grade
Kisses from my kids
The United States of America
The ability to read and write
My husband's beautiful voice
A clean house
Just for Kids (an organization that provides activities for families with cancer)
Sutter Cancer Center's CATS program
Panda Express (yummy spring rolls!!)
Chipotle (love their chicken tacos)
Animals (just not at my house)
Dates with my husband
People that read my blog :)
People that make comments on my blog :)
Washers and Dryers for my clothes
Toilets that flush
Running water in my house
A place for my kids to play right outside
and the list goes on...
I hope you can take some time today or in the future to just think about what you're grateful for. I know that what I am grateful for far out weighs what I don't care for. Thinking about these things and writing them all down gives me a bit of perspective, kind of like a pro/con list. I have so many things to be grateful for.
I had blood work done today and it came back very close to the same as last time I got it done a month ago. Tomorrow I will meet with my doctor and find out exactly what that means - I am thinking that chemo is a no-go again. In fact, based on my very limited knowledge and understanding, I believe that I am no longer a chemo candidate. My bone marrow has become too suppressed. We shall find out tomorrow and I will pass on any news here.
Enjoy your Sabbath Day. Remember to be grateful. Tell whom you love that you love them and give hugs. All things considered I am doing well and I love my life. Have a happy day!
Posted by Kaci at 2:48 PM