Sunday, May 16, 2010

On my mind...

As I sit here and think of all things that we have done lately - playing and watching baseball games, doing puzzles with kids, having Nephi, Gloria and Helaman cook me delicious plastic food in the Elmo kitchen, driving David to school when he missed his bus, driving kids here, there and everywhere, missing events and all the other things that I could be blogging about, and none of them seem really important at the moment. Don't get me wrong - it's not the kids that I am talking about, it's just all the "stuff" that has to be done on a daily basis.

We went to my brother and sister-in-law's house tonight for dinner. I was so angry before we went. I got so mad at the kids and by the time we got there I felt so horrible. I asked Kelli (my sister) to go inside while I talked to the kids. David had a meeting and was unable to go. I apologized to the kids, told them how sorry I was and asked for their forgiveness. They were so sweet and said that it was okay and that they understood and loved me. Do I have the greatest kids or what?!

We had a really good time visiting with family and watching family home videos that Jarrod took 5 years ago. It was neat to see Faith, Hyrum, Vilate, and Helaman, as well as the other cousins, when they were little. They were so cute!

On the ride home we listened to some church music on the way home and one song really struck me. Here are the lyrics:

I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives my ever living Head.
He lives to bless em with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my souls complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heavenly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, Priest and King.
He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare.
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
"I know that my Redeemer lives!"
He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
"I know that my Redeemer lives!"

Text by Samuel Medley

I have heard this song so many times before. I grew up with this song and had memorized the words while in High School if not before. It was a song that we sung often at church. Today, though, it struck a chord. As I was typing the lyrics just now, I thought, "I should mark this line as particularly special to me." The problem with marking individual lines? They all are so special to me. This is my testimony. I am so grateful to the Savior - to MY Savior. I am struggling with my health right now, but my testimony is growing in leaps and bounds. I know that my Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ have a plan for me and my family. I know that regardless of what happens with my life - whether I live to be 80+ or die in just a few months - the Lord will take care of me and my family. The kids will be fine. They will learn from this whole experience. Their faith will grow and they will gain testimonies of their own. David will also grow and become a better man. I will be a better mom and wife to all of them. There is a purpose for this trial and I intend to gain everything I can from it.

I know I have said it before, I truly appreciate all of your prayers and kind words in my behalf. Your kindness and generosity humble me and I am inspired by each one of you and your families. I pray that you will be blessed. Enjoy your week - we are busy this week, but we will get it all done and be better for it at the end of the week.

Love to all, Kaci


Tami said...

We love you Kaci. Once again you've reminded ME to keep a proper perspective. amazing.

Joanne said...

I ditto Tami!!! Thank you for also reminding me what is eternally important in this life! Love you!!

Barbara said...

You write such special words Kaci! We all love you both so much and most of the time feel so helpless to be of any help or service from long distance. I am there when you say the word! Love, Mom Cox

Susi said...

I'm sure that Heavenly Father is so proud of you for how you are handling this trial. I know that the words you speak are true! I remember the first big devotional I went to at BYU the whole congregation (thousands of people) sang that song. I felt such a powerful witness of the spirit that He really does live and he loves us. Thanks for being true Kaci.... we all love you and pray for you and your family every day.

Jenny said...

Always a lesson to be learned from Kaci. I think of you and your lessons often. Ever since I've known you, you've been an amazing example of gratitude... and many more things. Thank you for the reminders, especially when I need them the most. I am thankful for the example that I know your kids will be to mine someday, and i know they will have incredible testimonies to share with my children. Thank you for being such a great mom.

lambfamblog said...

Thanks for sharing Kaci. I really enjoyed visiting with you at the BBQ and taking you all around our yard for the full tour. I really love your kids too! Spending time with them in Primary has given me such a wonderful glimps into their little personalities. They are all very talented musically-I'm sure thanks to you and Dave. I listened to this song the other day and thought of you. So I thought I'd share the link. Love you. Hope to see you up in the woods this weekend:)

Orange Peanut said...

Perspective! Thanks for a huge dose of it :-) ! I am thinking of you and praying for you!