Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Why am I here?

Have you ever pondered that question? Lately I have - a lot!! Not because I really wonder why I am here...I understand the Plan of Salvation and I know that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father...but seriously...when my life is chaos and it seems as if ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is going my way I think, "Why am I in THIS mess?!?!?"

So, having pondered and discussed this at length with my great friend....I have a conclusion....I am here so that everyone else can look at my life and say, "Boy, I'm glad that's not me!"

Okay, so I am only kidding, kind of. Did you know that I once had someone actually say that to me? Can you believe it? She said that when she started to feel bad about her life with 3 kids, she just thought of how my life was and was immediately grateful she did not have mine! That makes me kinda sad.

I have a really good life...allbeit crazy, busy, cars breaking at rapid rates, diapers and the like that weave through it. I love my kids...they are great...right now Vilate is a handful, she is independent you see, but I digress.....My kids ROCK!!!!! They are brilliant...some of the smartest kids that I know and they - get this - WANT to do what is right. They love the Lord and they like going to church on Sunday. They like to learn and for the most part they love school and they are so nice to their friends and they want to make everyone feel included. So, you get it...my kids are GREAT!!

So, what else is going on that you could say, "I'm glad her life is not mine" you ask? We had both vans break down on us last week...actually the Friday before Halloween, in my car the check engine light started blinking...according to the handbook that is really bad. We were on our way to a Halloween party and had to turn the car around and switch everyone to David's van. So, on Saturday we took my van in and it only needed spark plugs, engine wire (what are those for?), an oil change, and I don't remember what else, but basically a tune-up...not so bad...just $500!!!!! It was to be ready on Monday afternoon. So on Monday morning I took the big kids to school and then it was off to drive David to school. Everything was going to be okay....that was until.....ready?...David's car made a loud snap and the power steering went out. I don't know how many of you have had to drive a car without power steering, but it SUCKS!!! Especially when it is a HUGE old van. Lucky for me it happened just as I was about to park the van at home. So, I called the mechanic...he said that it was okay to drive to him, down the street, and that the other van would be done around lunchtime. So I walked Helaman and Gloria to school - good exercise - and then mustered up the nerve to drive a van without power steering down the street....I have a new found respect for people who drive or used to drive without power steering - You guys ROCK!!!

I got the car there and put Nephi into my van and started the driving to pick up everyone at school. Get this...the mechanics gave us a multi-car discount...aren't we SOOOOOO lucky? It took them a few days to come back with the damage...."We can fix the problem for $850.00 but" (don't you just love that word?) "there are so many problems that are engine related and the car already failed smog that you should try for the vehicle retirement program." Oh sad day!!!! I love that van. We got it from my friend's aunt just before Helaman was born. It has been a great car...a real trooper and we have grown accustomed to it!! Rather than spend the $850, we agreed to $150 so that we can drive it (without power steering) to the place to retire the vehicle. You would think that we have had enough car trouble at this point. Right? David even said, "do you think we have put enough into this van (speaking about mine) so that it will run for the next year?" I really hoped so.....but....NO!!!

So, today we go out to get in the car to take everyone to school....now that we only have one car I am the chauffer...and the door is refusing to open. And it is not just any door...it is the kids door! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The setup in this van does not let one easily climb over seats...so here we sit. Only one van with only the front doors that open. Ya know, I am glad that I wrote all this. Maybe someone important...with connections will read it and take my life and make it one of those made for TV movies that make people feel better about their lives...In the end it would be great for all...I would get royalities and everyone else would feel like they have a great life!!

Things aren't that bad really. Yes the car is having issues, and money is non-exsistant...but so what? I can walk the kids to school, they can ride bikes. Well, time for the chauffer to leave and pick up the next batch of younglings. I hope you are all having a fabulous day. Regardless of what is happening to mess up my life...I am determining now to be happy!!! Good luck to me!!!

4 comments:

Tami said...

oh man - car trouble = SUCH A PAIN! Especially with all the kids and running around you have to do. But I have complete faith that Heavenly Father will continue to bless your family in crazy ways and you will end up better off. just keep doing what you're doing!

Sadira said...

Hey Kaci, if you need a hand with rides, let me know... Seth's and my schedule is pretty much our own, though we sleep in these days for reasons you know already. My car is running good right now, I'd be happy to help! In fact, if you're a good driver, you can borrow it to run around like that- we're really being home-bodies lately. It's a stick shift, though. Keep on keepin' on, girl. These are the details you'll forget in years to come, as I'm sure you know...

Mark said...

kaci, i hope I'm not the one one that made that "phew I'm gald I only have three." If so it's only cause I can barely handle my three while you seem to hold down the fort pretty darn well!! People say it if not think it (I can tell) all the time to me! Just yesterday a sales manager at the store grabbd about three items for me and then asked if I needed any more help with my shopping! DID I LOOK THAT PATHETIC?! Just because my five year old was having a major meltdown, (and if you know abby you know how bad that can be!!) Well, we made it. Coupon shopping can be DANG hard!LOL
jenny

Katie said...

I have never thought that about anyone.
That to me would hurt my feelings too.
Sometimes I feel sorry for me and even, stupidly, say it out loud around my Dad, and he always says..."well, you picked this life...you wanted to be a Mom." Okay, so my Dad is not very tactful. And I always am hurt ...at first.
then I think about it.
Yes, I did choose this life, and I did choose to be a Mom.
And I would not trade it for anything. Crappy cars and all.
I always try to think of it as an adventure.
That is really sad about Aunt Kathie's Van. I will break the news to her. It is amazing it has lasted that long.